We sat silent in the movie theaters on Valentine's Day as "The Wolf of Wall Street" played out across the screen. I thought it looked like a smaller theater, I imagined it was chosen as the projection room since it had been playing for quite a while now. All of the blow being poured into their noses and across any hard surface to rest for a few seconds before disappearing once again. I couldn't help being drawn back in for one more night of passion and blow.
It took 2 days of ruminating on whether or not to give into these temptations before we called our friend. We had all the suppliea given to me by the needle exchange and although I opted out of looking for my own veins (which always hide and require great patience) and instead helped R hit his own. After not filtering last time which lead to us vomiting and shitting our guts out, he prepped everything thoroughly. I watched jealously as he began to line up the spike on his arm. His hands shook as I repeatedly told him to lower the angle of the needle, until I could not watch and suggested I do it for him. He didnt mind the help, as I easily slipped it in on the outside of his left arm, I registered blood and pushed down the plunger. It was so easy that I honestly felt a small amount of jealousy. It dissolved as I cut myself a fat line and railed it. Pleasure rushed through my body, and eventually turned into want, which pushed me to repeat the process over until it was gone and my nose was raw.
Tea helped me drift off into a warm satisfied sleep.
Hi Lucy,
ReplyDeleteSorry to read about your Grand mother. I lost my Grand father last year, it was sad but it wasn't sad, he was 97 & a Great great grandad. Anyway, good film that wolf of wall street but I know what you mean about the drugs. I used to watch trainspotting whilst I was trying to kick & in a weird kind of way it used to help. I've got to say though that the book is infinitely better but I wouldn't want to read it whilst clucking.
Good luck with the staying clean if that's what you're trying to do, if not stay safe. Karl
Thanks for reading and commenting Karl!
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a mixture of emotion, knowing how lucky anyone is to know their grandparents, but at the same time never wanting to let them go.
I love watching anything about drugs while on drugs, including Trainspotting, Spun, Intervention, I don't know why but it makes me so entertained.
I'm staying as safe as I can, you know how that goes!
-Lucy