The Tea is addicting... I had read that before I had started taking it because, let's face it, it's morphine and codeine which are obviously very addictive. The best part is for my arthritis (I mean, the really BEST part is the high), my whole body feels so much better, even the muscles in my ribcage and discs in my spine.
Tonight I'm seeing my friend from college, who is now moving back to D.C.. I already miss her a lot. Supposedly, I'm going to meet them at 11pm after they go to a show, but I'm not sure if this is really going to occur. I don't know, my friends have all kind of dropped off from talking to me. It is probably because I had been too depressed/anxious to come out of the apartment a few months ago, and then became addicted to the cocoa, so I have been void this whole half a year. It feels like I don't have any real friends anymore, or at least not any that I can turn to an confide in. This has been known to drive me deeper into depression, as I've experienced this before a few times. Tonight will be good, even if it is sad to see her go. I hope that she comes back to visit soon, and that we can get enough cash together to go to D.C.. The other friend that I'm seeing is moving as well, but only to the Upper East Side--across the water from where I live, luckily. I think that one of my other friends may be reading this, who is also named Lucy. Her knowing my problems with drugs again maybe why she isn't hanging out with me, especially with the shit I've put her through in the past with my issues. I feel rather bad as she's my best friend from college.
I don't know, I just hate to think that I've lost myself and all of my friends because of that damn powder. Feeling horrible about it and my actions isn't enough, it seems I have given everything away for it--what a shity trade.
Now I'm itching all over. Contentedly, overwhelmingly, high. Whatever to the rest of the world. At least I'll see my friends later, and that is a better high than any drug.
I got started into opiates via Tea. I love drugs, but I really regret what the tea led me into. If you thought detoxing off a large oxy habit was bad, it is not 1/100th of a poppy tea habit.
ReplyDeleteI hate to be a downer, but the withdrawals are excruciating. You are never the same afterwards, either, because your brain adjusts to all those alkaloids and your brain gets used to releasing serotonin and endorphins via those alkaloids.
It is also extremely hard to measure your dosage, and I remember you are very skinny, very slight little thing. You can get pods from a different supplier, a different strain, a different growing area, and it can quadruple or quintuple your dosage without any indications. The tea also takes so long to come on, that you don't know until too late.
Get your ass to a harm reduction clinic- even if you have to leave the state- and get some naloxone. I have fallen out from tea before, and I am a good sized man.
That said:
I love the high from tea, but the level of addiction it introduced me to is the worst thing to ever happen to me.
I have a graduate education, as well, and I've still been through hell. I can say the tea potentially has some very negative effects on a person's future, employment, and relationships.
The reality is, if this shit weren't illegal, there wouldn't be 90% problems there are now.
However, it is. And they will charge you for it, just like anything else. You're in New York, too, so remember the goddamn Rockefeller laws.
My DoC: (1)opiates (2)pharm grade amphetamines of all flavors (3)cousin cocaine (4) other mind altering substances.
I don't care for grass. I think in my mind, I must dislike who I am, so that may be why I do not like psychedlics as they take you and force you to face things.
Please be careful. And please take care.
I have cut down a lot on my poppy usage as your advice, but might have to go back on it with my supply of funds and drugs all run out. I already feel sick and know the two groceries that had anything are out. I'll look for the naloxene, I've heard of it. Thanks for the advice, and I'm trying to take care, the kratom really was working for my pain and shit (which is good since I think it is extremely hard to OD on or at least haven't heard of it). And we finally stopped all our off and on again cocoa shit, so that's the best news at least because that was horrrible. Hope you're doing well!!
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