Dr. Phil blabbers on the TV, remarking that people who are good have a defined image. I addmited to R the other day that I had wanted to do drugs, mostly heroin, since I was 11 in D.A.R.E. class. My defined image since then has been smart, but on a shit ton of drugs. I know at least I'm still on a shit ton of drugs (and I did graduate university a semester early, this past December).
R doesn't want us to ever touch coke again. I understand that, but I don't feel the same. I feel like we just need to chill until we have some time to look at these past few months in retrospect, and figure out how we can still do shit without LOSING OUR SHIT ( or possibly losing our apartment). And by shit, I mean money... a lot of money. We've never had money until now, where we could actually spend it on stuff we wanted, which only adds to the bottomless pit of spending.
Tomorrow we are done for now. I probably wont' want to write, since I'll be too depressed and curled up to do any of that shit.
Wish me luck,
- Lucy
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I am all eyes.